Both times that I’ve been homeless I’ve had interesting experiences with others. I wanted to talk about them because I think that the media over dramatizes such things, but also, I want those who aren’t homeless to understand what it’s like for a homeless person. For instance, you may think that you are being kind, but certain interactions are not as appreciated as you may think. Not because the homeless person is mean or ungrateful, but because there can be privacy and pride issues that come into play.
Many of you may be wondering about my experiences with police, so I’ll start there. No, I don’t hate them. I’ve read many blogs with people raving about them and how cruel they are. I can’t say that it isn’t true, but I can say that it isn’t universally true. In fact, each officer I have encountered has been completely polite and even caring. Is this because I’m female? Perhaps. I was also respectful in return and didn’t have a chip on my shoulder while talking to them.
My first encounter was because of a broken head light. I blurted out that I was homeless thanks to being so anxious and he was kind and told me to pull over and that I would need to fix the head light before I continued driving at night because it was unsafe.
My second encounter was because I was sleeping on a blanket with my also homeless boyfriend in the park. This wasn’t deemed acceptable by a police officer and he drove onto the grass and asked if we were alright, telling us that other park-goers were worried about us. I knew it was actually because we looked homeless and shouldn’t be sleeping in public like that. Most public places do not allow sleeping. I wasn’t happy with the officer at the time, but looking back on the situation I find what he did reasonable.
The third encounter was due to me running a red light recently after a very long day at work. The officer was so kind, asking if I was living in my car and offering me phone numbers for homeless shelters.
In each encounter, while I wasn’t calm, I was polite and truthful. I didn’t try to argue with them or tell them about my rights. They weren’t intruding on my rights, but simply keeping order in the community. I know that this isn’t always the case, but considering that I’ve had three encounters and they were all peaceful and positive, I have to say that from my own personal opinion, I felt safe after each encounter.
What I’m trying to say is that it may be tempting to be rude to an officer that you encounter. Maybe you think that they are being unfair. However, the most important thing that you can do is be respectful and try to see things from their point of view. There is no reason to unnecessarily escalate the situation which could lead to getting yourself into unnecessary trouble. As I’ve pointed out above, each time the officer was reasonable and simply carrying out their duty.
Now I’ll tell you about other homeless people that I have encountered. I want to state first and foremost that I could never fully understand someone’s situation. I don’t think that it’s right to judge someone’s entire character on one thing that they do or have done. There are many cases where a person tries and tries and simply does not have the resources to move up in the world or change their lives. I’ll write in depth about this in another post.
I’ve met many homeless who clearly have mental issues and are on drugs to the extent that they are barely alive. There are many, many programs available for these people, but many are inconvenient and the situation is complicated. Many simply don’t want to deal with it. No judgements from me. I understand the way the government feels as well as how the homeless people feel. Like I said, it’s complicated. I stay away from these people. If you want to live successfully in society, I would suggest that you do the same outside of offering them charity. I feel that these people truly are in great need and I don’t mind sharing when I can.
There are plenty of homeless I’ve met who are healthy enough to work and seemed very intelligent. To me, there was no reason why they shouldn’t have a job. However, one night I was parked at a Walmart and there was a hill below me. I overheard several homeless people talking beneath a tree down below. One mentioned that he had a felony and could not find work. It was even more difficult for him because he was also on foot. So he was panhandling to survive. Some of the others he was talking to admitted that their situations were similar.
I met an elderly gentleman who had inherited a great deal of money and chose to live in an expensive sports car for the rest of his life. I often still see him parked near places where I park at night as well.
One night I was awake and had my car running to warm it up. A man came over and asked if I could help jump his van. I was happy to help, knowing how difficult it can be to find someone to help with that at night. He was very kind and hung around over the course of several days. He panhandled for his money, traveling around the country with his dog. He suggested apartments being too expensive and having a great deal of debt. He mentioned that before he had his van he was traveling across the country on a bicycle with his sweet dog in a cart. He would sleep in a tent at night. He showed me photos of the cart. I could tell that this time had been very difficult for him. He was very offended by homeless people living in their cars who looked homeless, the types with all of their junk strapped to their vehicles. After a few days he drove away and I haven’t seen him since.
I also encountered a man, his brother and his brother’s wife. They live out of two hatchbacks and travel together. The previous man I mentioned was offended by these three, who had bicycles and all sorts of things strapped to their cars, as well as tons of clothing piled up inside. I can’t say anything because over time I have filled up my tiny car with things. Lately I’ve been trying to figure out how to balance it all and make it look like I’m not homeless. I’ll write about it when/if I do.
Lastly, I’ll talk about the nonhomeless people that I’ve encountered. The vast majority have upset me, even those who weren’t trying to be rude, but I also understood where they were coming from.
The worst is the gawkers. They see the things piled into my vehicle and walk around it, staring, some looking shocked. They know what this is. They know that I’m homeless and they don’t mind staring with various faces of shock, horror, discomfort, disapproval, dis-whatever. These people are always well dressed. They annoy the sh*t out of me for obvious reasons. Just remember that what you’re gawking at is someone’s tiny house (whether it be a car/camper/truck/van, tent, or park bench) and they are likely trying to enjoy it peacefully.
Then there’s the people who are just trying to help. Unless you’re a panhandler, or maybe even if you are but you aren’t doing it right now, this is incredibly annoying. These people think they are helping, coming over to offer food or cash and their sympathies for your sad, sad, sad situation. I have to facepalm. If a homeless person needs help, I assure you, they will ask. I actually used to be one of these people. Now I know better. Unless they ask, it’s really rude to offer charity. You’re taking unnecessary notice of their situation when they already feel bad enough as it is. This is just my own point of view, but I’ve had others tell me they felt the same. I have to put a disclaimer here. If you are sure they are dying or really need medical help, by all means, call for help or offer assistance.
On a similar note, if a homeless person has pets, it’s very annoying for people to constantly come up to their vehicle and yell, “Awww, puppy/kitty/iguana!” I know the animal is cute, but the homeless person is likely trying to relax after a long day and doesn’t find you amusing. I was living with 6 cats in my car at one point, though temporarily. It was madness with people constantly coming up and asking about it. It was fun at first with people getting excited about how cute my cats were, but now it’s just tiring.
Then there are people who are oblivious to you being homeless, or simply choose to ignore it and treat you like an actual person. These are my favorite people, though rare. Being homeless isn’t shocking. In fact, with the economy going the way it is, it’s probably more common than ever. We’re still people and many of us are normal and just fell on hard times. I prefer those who simply talk to me as a human being, rather than getting all sympathetic that I’m a homeless girl and assuming that I can’t take care of myself.
So this has been my experience with other people while homeless. Feel free to leave comments or even share your own experiences if you have been homeless as well. I’d love to hear from you.
Drifter Lex The Vagabond 